Friday, September 29, 2006


Ending the week with a confused, angry, upset blog is not my favorite of things to do.

The blog has nothing to do with me but with the events of yesterday and the day before.

So, rest in peace Emily Keyes.

In other news, there was another shooting. A former student in western wisconsin shot his principal. They won't say much but if this is the end of the week that is very relieving.

The sad thing about any kind of school violence is how much I am not surprised. I'm not jaded over much in life but with teenagers very little surprises me. Depresses, but not surprises. I didn't grow up in a school system (middle school and high school especially) where school shooting was a regular or even feared occurence. If someone had a problem with you they stabbed you. Or cut you. Or beat the hell out of you and then cut you.

I managed to get through those years not getting cut. It's good to be quiet sometimes.

Suburbia has to worry about shootings. Urbania just has individual minor things that occur.

Well, I'm still sick of course. But have used time to keep up with artwork and work on halloween costume.

Happy friday!

Now, there are quite a few things that are mentioned frequenty in this blog.

Peanuts is one of them.



Wednesday, September 27, 2006

For That Mona Lisa Strangeness in Your Smile

The Leonardo Da Vinci painting "Mona Lisa" has received its first scientific analysis in 50 years (the first being after it's vandalization in 1956)through high tech digital "disection" of the painting. The analysis showed that Da Vinci changed his mind about quite a few things during the creation of the portrait. Despite the fact that most of these "secrets" were painted over or "hidden" one major one was in plain sight.

The sitter (believed to be Lisa Gherardini, wife of a florentine silk merchant who had recently given birth to her third child) was originally painted wearing a large transparent robe made of gauze that was usually worn by women nursing or expecting. On the right side of the painting the fragment of the robe is noticeable although appears to be part of the background. Other details that were changed were the hair of the model (originally half pulled into a small bun and under a bonnet with a veil covering half of the models face...obvious to the flirting modesty of that time) and that considerable amounts of grime collected over the centuries had collected on the painted obscuring certain details (yech).

Another interesting detail is the most well known and used analogy that came out of the painting. The smile. Despite the serene quality that came to be the painting was originally a bit more tense. The hands of the sitter at some point were clenched as though she were about to rise from her seat. Another is how sturdy the actual painting is. Unlike most very old and some uncleaned paintings it is not at all delicate. (SUPER STRONG DIRT!)

The digital analysis also begins to show the techniques that Da Vinci used. He layered very thin layers of paint. The darker paint is shown to be heaviest around her eyes and mouth while other darker layers are comparitively much thinner.

They hope to discover more on the technique as they progress.

In my own news, I am sick...again lol. So I'm spending my time talking to my mooching and mooing dog Muzzy and blue siamese fighting fish Yule (Brenner).

The past few days have been beautiful and it is most definitely fall. My favorite holiday is coming in only a few short weeks. So, of course must put together some strange costume. Will do, will do. :)

Hope everyone around on blogger has a great day and a great week!

Have some Wainwright.

...such a great song :)

Monday, September 18, 2006

Ticket To Ride

I like trains...a lot. I like riding them, I like to look at people who ride them. I mostly enjoy watching the entire world pass by from a box. A large box with comfortable pleather seats. Yes, I like the seats too. I like the sounds. I just like trains.

First of all they're a great place to think. There always seems that there is going to be a big conclusion at the end of a long train ride. Some un-asked question that mysteriously answers itself.

Taking the 10:15 ride out of Jersey to get back to the city was not how I planned my Monday. I like any kind of change of plan (unless it's hideous or involves giant robberies with guns and chicken sacrifices or malls..haha) so I was for it. My cell phone (my poor very un-used mostly turned off cellphone) however was not all for it and promptly told me in it's unwelcoming female voice..."Your balance has expired"...which really means "You ungrateful little dip! How dare you not use me every five minutes! How dare you forget to run to radioshack to buy a pre-paid card! Spending all your money on art supplies and music...turning me off when people want to call you...who said I ever wanted to be an emergency phone??? I could have been a contender! I could have been a contender! Maybe this train will crash and you'll be stranded without a would you like that????"

I'm sorry cell phone.

I'll try to use you more.

Now, although my cellphone was against the whole train ride, it still was a perfectly lovely train ride. I sat and looked out my window the entire time my knapsack filled with dirty clothes cradled on my lap. There's an eerie naivety to suburbia when you're not involved in it. Visting Jersey to see family for a few days becomes oppresive simply because of the strange attitude that lurks in the area. But sitting in this little box on wheels allows the entire world around you to appear just like a little electric train set. Everything looks richly painted and thought out...and completely fake. As each stop progressed the world outside my window changed from the quaint little houses and overgrown plants to the houses right under the tracks with sparse backyards and then to the giant factories with companies I'd never heard of. Finally it began to urbanize itself. The overgrown plants turned to concrete, the factories turned to deli's, and the quaint little houses turned to apartments.

The world was changing at a very rapid speed. Suddenly at the stop before mine I saw a janitor sweeping dry leaves off of a few stairs. A thought came to me, what if I were to just get off the train there. It was in the middle of seemingly nowhere. I could walk through the bushes and just walk. Or I could just talk to the janitor for awhile. There was no one else there. I didn't. I don't even know why I felt that way. I wanted to go home. I wasn't putting anything off. But at the same time I just wanted to walk. And walk, and walk.

Instead my tongue felt around in my mouth for the one wisdom tooth that had broken through. I only had one tooth of wisdom. I still wanted to leave the train.

My stop, walked off the train and unto another...and then onto the E where I got off at the wrong stop and could not transfer. Oops.

And walked the wrong way simply because I have no sense of direction :)

Then I walked the 40+ blocks through central park (which really doesn't count because it's pretty) back home passing the merry go round playing once upon a dream, and the squirrels who were all desperately trying to fatten up.

Weeks ago, I stared up at the trees beckoning them to turn orange purple and red and to fall to the ground crunched and mixed with the dirt. Now there they were on the ground crunched and smeared. I looked down confused..when exactly had this happened?

The world was changing at a very rapid speed.

Happy Monday :)

Here, take the beatles with you for the week

Monday, September 11, 2006

September 11th

Five years ago (although it's strange to think that five years has passed) the world trade center was destroyed. Everyone still can remember where they were that day.

I was in New York at school. In Manhattan on the upper east side. Very far from the twin towers. I can remember the assembly that took place. Well, some of it. My first thoughts (shock, can tend to only let a mind focus on one thing if that)was that, that was the end of Windows On The World. A place my grandmother loved to frequent on birthdays. No more windows on the world. I had heard the word terrorist before but it hadn't sunk in. They believed it was terrorist attack and that if we had working cell phones we should call our parents.

I remember that only one tear fell down my cheek. Then I began to realize what was going on. My uncle and aunt lived very close to The Twin Towers. My uncle who is in a wheelchair and was a lawyer frequently walked by or was in the buildings. I can still remember my ears popping on the 57th floor in the elevator. I had no idea where my father was that day, my grandparents often visited my uncle at work downtown. My mother and stepfather and almost two year old brother also came into New York to walk around. I didn't have a father who was a fireman or a cop. Or a brother, or a sister, or even a mother who would have been involved directly. I didn't have hundreds of crying pre-teens in panic over the situation. We just sat. Some made jokes, it probably was shock. I didn't have a reason for why my body seemed to twist and shake in itself. The day went by quickly. We weren't allowed out of the school, I sat in the cafeteria and stood on line for hot lunch. I was a vegetarian I didn't eat the meat pattie. I just sat and ate baby carrots and contemplated my spork.

A spork is a very strange and un-productive tool.

At about 2:30 they planned on us to sleep at the school. I lived about five minutes away and saw no point in why I had to sleep at the school...but I was excited too. The concept that something had gone so awry that school would become a giant scary sleepover interested me. My father came at about 3:30 (my grandmother endlessly argued with him over this "How could you leave her there so long??.." and we walked out onto the street. It was completely silent. I've lived in new york my entire life. Not even at 5:00 a.m. was it completely silent. Something out of a perverse dream. A tumbleweed did not roll by. A lone plastic bag did.

We got home easily. I stared for hours at the footage of the attack. My uncle and aunt had been evacuated and there became the search for the man in the wheelchair who'd recently had a toe removed on his foot, and the tall skinny redhead that would surely be with him. I looked out the window on the 11th floor. Every light across the way was on and everyone was doing the exact same thing. Sitting, using the phone, crying, or shaking their head. I don't remember going to sleep that night. I think the world went back to a numb normal for me.

That was the state of my mind. My aunt and uncle were let go and went with my grandparents to their house. Later on, the story of what my uncle and aunt had seen and done came out.

She had seen the plane lunge at the building, she had seen it fall and she had immediately lost it. My uncle on the other hand has always been a different force. They had reached the ferry. People were screaming,pushing,and falling down unable to think. My uncle who idolizes strong characters from old films, who can characterize anyone without sympathy and who has MS where the only thing affected was his spine wheeled his chair and and firmly said "Forward!" pointing towards some unannounced form of safety. It was his great moment, and of course he didn't realize it. Only my grandmother did in the next few days.

About a month after 9/11 I began to feel very ill. I had become very sick and there didn't seem to be a direct reason why or how or even what to do. I was in school for 40 days and that was it. I spent the year out and in hospitals for pretty easy procedures. I didn't graduate with my 8th grade class, I can't even remember most of that year thanks to numerous quantities of a hideous painkiller. It probably was brought on one because of an issue with a girl about six months beforehand, who in truth was a hideous bully but also was clinically insane...she fit a bill. It also had to be brought on by whatever shock occured from September 11th.

I definitely had nowhere near the worst of the brunt. I didn't lose anyone. There are some people who swear they had it worse than others. My mother (despite my complete decision that she WAS in the city with her family and in great danger) was sitting comfortably in her New Jersey home with a friend at 9 something when she was told to turn on her T.V. She and her friend watched the buildings collapse only about five minutes after they happened. She believes of any of us she had it worse. She watched it live. I don't like when people talk that way. We all were in serious pain and shock.

I wasn't sure how to deal with September 11th this year. It's too long ago to be in that great disabling pain for me. It's too soon to be treated as something that only sort of happened and there's no school because of it. Maybe that will be my generation's children that think that way. It only sort of occured.

Truthfully, much worse has happened. My grandfather can still remember Pearl Harbor as though it were only a few days ago. Because of him, it isn't just something that sort of occured in my mind. America got to live in a bubble for a good long time. Then the bubble burst. People aren't necessarily bad or ignorant because they cover their ears and close their eyes instead of looking around and seeing what is going on. They might still be in shock.

More likely they're just are trying to pull the bubble back over them.

I hope you all have a good day :)



Monday, September 04, 2006

If you're happy and you know it scream out loud! AEEEEIIIGGGH!

Slightly old news.

The Scream (fantastic painting for all who surprisingly don't know of it) was recovered a few days ago since it's kidnapping along with Madonna (also by Munch) in 2004.

The recovery took exactly 2 years and nine days.

Pretty good actually.

The damage was much less than originally thought, and all are sentenced pretty severely.

In newer news and much sadder, Steve Irwin died today. The animal lover was killed instantly by a stingray attack. Many are shocked by what would appear to be such a freak incident considering his work with much larger and dangerous animals.

It was an incredibly dangerous hobby. I think that if you're doing something like that, you know that at some point you may die. It's a risk you have to be willing to take.

RIP Steve Irwin.

Happy Labor Day